porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
