So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I checked into jail on foursquare
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
