this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
