I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
