turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
