If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize