is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
