I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
