Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
