he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
