He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize