were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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