I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
