But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
