1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
