3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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