My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
