So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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