Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
