he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Randomize
