And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You can't special order awesome
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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