areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
