Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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