just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
