her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
