dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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