Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
