foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
