Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize