Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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