Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize