I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
