ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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