I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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