Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
