I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
