when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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