so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
did you just send me my own nude
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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