Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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