He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
