oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
