I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
