week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
