So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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