Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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