Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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