um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
