Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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