Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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