We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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