thus making me awesome and them whores
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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