guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
