I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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