his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
