i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
