I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
