I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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