Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
