I'm really into asian looking animals
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
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I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I smell like Dick and happiness
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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