How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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